Top Economist, Chief Environmentalist, Mental Acuity Czar and Official Love Guru of the Mike Slater Show
How can one man earn so many titles? How can Chuck Norris count to infinity twice? Don’t ask so many questions. Two facts: Bill from Hornbeak could out debate any member of Obama’s Council of Economic Advisors while standing on his head and Bill from Hornbeak celebrates Earth Day every year by firing up his chain saw and cutting down a tree. End of story.
USA Chant Czar
Harder to time and more powerful than the slow clap, knowing when to start a USA! chant proper should be left to the experts. B from Beech Bluff’s ability to deconstruct liberal principles in a single bound pales only in comparison in his ability to get thousands chanting three simple letters. Someone’s gotta start it. It’s not for the faint of heart. Patriotic Americans rejoice. When you need a USA chant, we have B from Beech Bluff.
The Wisdom Czar
Time stops when the Wisdom Czar speaks. If you’re about to get out of your car and go to work, when Jack from Weakley County calls in you have no choice but to sit back down with the key in the ignition until he’s done imparting his wisdom. Don’t worry. Your boss will understand why you’re late.
Over the Road Education Czar
Don’t adjust your dial. That sound in the background is just 600 horsepower of raw diesel power backing up his brilliance. He could pull over to make your listening experience easier, but he’s busy keeping our country moving. Drive on, brother. Drive on.
Special Master of Philosophy Czar
Don’t worry. I feel pretty dumb when Brian from Jackson calls in, too. But I also feel enlightened, because he brings us the world of John Locke, Adam Smith and JJ Rousseau like no one else. He’s also our defense against being called a bunch of redneck rubes. Usher in the SlaterRaider Enlightenment, Brian. One Eternal Truth at a time.
Grandfather of Liberty Czar
Stan’s granddaughter is actually named Liberty, because it’s the only Liberty that no government can ever take away from him. WIN.
2nd Amendment Czar
Jamie from Troy puts the “gun-totin’” in “Bible-thumpin’, gun-totin’, evil conservative.” Darn right he’s clinging to the things most important to him. You want to take our guns from us, DC? We’ll meet you at the border. Jamie will be at the front of the line.
The Contrarian Czar
Not all of our Czars are hardcore SlaterRaiders. We need someone to keep our hate in line. Monty B is not afraid to rattle the cages and bring order to the madness. He’s always welcome, because he always provides an argument. Monty B, contrarian away! You’re not a SlaterHater, maybe, a SlaterRaider-in-Waiting.
Resident FDA Advisor
Did you know that the government regulates how many raisins need to be in bread to call it “Raisin Bread”? Jeremy from Jackson, with his superior search skills, can find that and any information we need with his eyes closed on an abacus faster than Evan could on the computer that beat Garry Kasparov. Need a picture of Garfield in an inner tube? BAM! 30 seconds or less or your order is free. God speed, Resident FDA Advisor.
Junior SlaterRaider Czar
Claire from Jackson defines the purpose of our show. Engaged, informed and opinionated, I’d match Claire from Jackson against Tim Geithner any day of the week. She also has madd skills at GuitarHero. Claire, continue to rally the future! And always lead by example. (She’s the little one in this picture, but she’s growed up now)
Evan
Evan is our producer sort of. We’re not sure what he gets paid for, but he keeps messing up. (Evan not pictured)
